Therapy

Writing in a strange way is like therapy, except you don't have the doctor, in a chair, telling you what you're doing wrong with your life and then paying for that opinion. It's just me, this keyboard and this page -- for my thoughts to flow off of my fingers and onto the site, for the entire world to read about.

Work has not gotten any better. Actually I think I have earned a new title... Jack of all trades meets Oriental rug to drag your feet on. I guess it has come to the very conclusion that I am not only versatile which has hurt me, but now I have come to the realization that I am being used. How horrible is that?! And it's not just something that came to my mind and all of a sudden it goes *ding* -- it was something that someone else pointed out. Unfortunate, indeed. I now don't have issues with money or struggling as I did in college, but man - like Biggie and Puffy said, mo' money, mo' problems.

I always envisioned being at work as an enjoyable part of life. I remember days back in college when I was so thrilled I was so many months or semesters away from graduating, having a real job and responsibility. Right now, I would give anything to be back in school, not dealing with corporate drama, or personalities that conflict.

My main topic for today's session is to talk about people using you, realizing it, and the fake personalities you come across in the work place. Please beware, situations are real and such topics should be addressed in some seminar in the future. If there are already books and conferences about this, someone please pass on the word!

I have always been the little helper. I have never minded helping out whenever and wherever I can because I believe in karma. I believe in being rewarded in the future for a good deed you did for someone else - because I truly believe that is how fate works. And I've learned, you always want to make your boss look good. BUT - I also believe that if you boss looks great, but does not recognize you in return for any of this additional shine you have contributed to their resume or their "great" image, then maybe you are working for the wrong boss. Maybe that's just me.

I simply work with self centered, egotistical, arrogant, snobby, wanna-be know-it-alls, who have no college degree - or those who do, flaunt it like a Gucci bag fresh from the department store, with the tag still on it. I simply feel that I report to non-promoting, scummy people who do not care about helping those around them realize their full potential - and this is worst than a game of Darwinism - but simply a game of Dumb and Dumber.

I've been pushed to the limit of my capabilities. If I look like I'm sick, maybe I am. But please, don't take it upon yourself to express that verbally to make me feel even worse than I already do, just for the sake of doing it. Also, if I seem annoyed, maybe it's because I don't feel well. But the continuous baggering and annoyance of "are you ok? are you sure? are you sure you're ok?" is really not going to make the situation any better.

Lessons learned:

I must not wear my emotions on my sleeve.
I must not present any form of discontentment to certain select individuals.

Other lessons to be learned:

PLEASE DO NOT PROVIDE INFORMATION TO ME THAT WILL RUIN MY DAY. There is no point in telling me I am not the person who didn't get a promotion. Don't tell me that because I am getting a 4th supervisor that it sucks. Yes, I am fully aware. Please do not rub in my face that the situation I am put in, is unfortunate. Thanks, Captain Obvious. I am so grateful for your observations, NOT.

Ignorance is bliss. Or so people say. But I have always been a true go getter, wanting to accomplish more than just the ordinary status quo kind of a person. However, now learning that 1. It is not a good idea to have an interest of any kind other than co-worker status with your co-workers, 2. friendships are hard to find and many of those who originated in college and high school are probably your best bets later in life, 3. Simple maintain an outlook of strict professionalism at all times at work, 4. learn how to work the system -- the faster the better, 5. Whatever you do, always have a person to go to or a blog to write on.

My question to the reading audience is, how do you maintain a level head on your shoulders and leave what happens at the office, at the office? Maybe I have the problem of carrying too much baggage. Maybe I need to just let go of things. But in this instance, I can't be too blunt, or I may be the next one on the chopping block. But at the same time, the more I hold in, the one situation that turns into the situation of the straw that breaks the camel's back is going to send me straight to the corner, in a time out, or 6 feet under -- where it could have all been prevented.

I think what I am asking for is an outlet to release this tension and anger, or even just a way to address the situation because I clearly am not able to find any resources at work that can help me with that.

I'm used, abused, overworked and underpaid, upset and alone, but most importantly, confused and thoroughly discouraged.