Growing Painfully

I don't reread my blogs after I've written them, so often times I revisit thoughts I've had in the past or feel like the past relives itself.

I'm at a crossroads. I'm not quite sure how I add value to the organization or if what I am doing benefits anyone but the person that is telling me to do what I do. Sadly, I'm highly unmotivated to get the job done. Somewhat uncharacteristic of the typical 'me', but I feel like everyone who is in my shoes right now feels about the same. To some extent, IS THIS what I signed up for after college?????

They don't teach you about "stereotypes" and how to "overcome" these stereotypes in college. They don't teach you the downfalls of Corporate America. There are a LOT OF THINGS I wish college taught me before getting into the real world. And even if I didn't listen completely the first time, at least it would have sounded familiar the second time around!

I'm not the "I LOVE TO LEARN" student. I'm also not the "EVERYDAY IS A SUNNY DAY" person either. I'm quite the "dark cloud that follows me around" type of person and every once in a while, a streak of sunshine breaks through... that just sounded so depressing.

I'm at a loss. I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do.

At the end of my day, where is my skill set? Apparently far from where it should be judging from where others are with the same amount of years of experience. But is there a place for me in Corporate America? Or should I just settle for the "i'll be your bitch" kind of a job for the rest of my life. Although, I'm sure this would be easy for a few months, I'd get sick and tired of the being bossed around and want to move onto something new.

Maybe I'll win the lotto.

Someone told me I was going through my quarter life crisis. I think that someone was right.

2 years ago I was an incredibly motivated worker bee. Now I'm just trying to survive.