Remember that song? We learned it in some grade that I could count on one hand... and even the sign language equalivant to it.
So why in the real world do we not make new friends?! Why is everyone who you meet at work just worried about their 8-5 and then going home to their own lives?! WHY?????
So maybe in college I was a bit overachieving. I felt the need to do everything and anything I could get my hands on. Maybe if I had just planned out what I wanted more strategically, things would have turned out differently?
Let's backtrack.. I was very involved to say the least and tried to make friends where I went. I think Charlie Barlett says it best. Now, let's stop for a moment and think -- Charlie Barlett = the new Ferris. Okay. It's not just about making friends and being liked -- but it does come along with the picture. Yet in Corporate America, you really do not have any friends. They are just mere images of people you see every day and you just hope one of them doesn't stab you in the back, before you get a chance to get away or to do the same.
So things I didn't learn in college:
Make your friends in college, but be sure to relocate with them or else, you're stuck in a rut.
Date in college, because dating in the real world, really doesn't work out.
Do not date someone you meet at a bar. What happens at the bar, should stay at the bar.
Marriage is right around the corner, and people make these decisions about marriage, 3 weeks - 4 months into the relationship...
And I totally missed the memo on all of these topics I just mentioned above, so I will crawl back into my hole and twiddle my thumbs until my tax return surfaces.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Top 5 Musts
These are qualities that one must possess to work in Corporate America. It is simply not just a requirement, but a way of life, as I have noticed. ::please note the sarcasm to follow::
1. Never read your email, completely or thoroughly.
Why the heck would you send someone an email if they aren't going to read it? Same goes for why leave someone a voicemail, or even send them a memo - heck - why even tell ANYONE ANYTHING if they just don't care. Right. So when you invite me out to happy hour, and I decline, and write a reason as to why in the text before I send it, I kind of expect you to read it. Just kind of. And on top of that, do not hold it against me as to say "I missed out" or how much cooler you were/are than I am just because you went to this shindig and I was too busy working.
2. Coolness/Misfits
If you are too cool, you won't make it. If you are too much of an odd ball, you again, will not make it. You have to middle of the road, cool enough to play with the big guys but yet down to earth enough to hang with the little people to make it. But this is all in how you define success. If you think being successful is to stab one another in the back (or front) and to (pardon my french) talk shit with a smile, then heck yeah - on the way to the top you go! But until you learn how to master these things... you're just stuck, at square one, in the copy room... or in my case, in a box with no door. At least the copy room, has a door...
3. The Outfit
You can't look the part enough. If your toes hang over, don't buy the shoes. If your heel sticks out from behind, don't buy the shoes. High water pants, only cool for HIGH WATER situations. Walking means to pick up your feet, not drag them across the carpet in small tiny steps because your clothes and shoes are too small. Sticking out your chest - ladies, not attractive, especially when approaching the too old ages, and most importantly, if your bad outfit comes with a bad personality/attitude... note to myself, I gotta move cubes, pronto. Other personality traits - please steal everyone's food, ask about the weather EVERYDAY, say "ok" 1,000,000,000,000 over the course of the day, "mmm hmmm" becomes your natural response after every other word, and yes, please, RETIRE SOON.
Anything too trendy, won't get you anywhere. Anything too much like what I described to you above will just leave you stagnent in your position, for 7 years. (seriously.)
4. Assume = Ass + U + Me
Never assume someone is bright enough to make decisions that not only involve logic, but also COMMON SENSE. I will focus my thoughts on common sense as a topic of discussion soon. Assuming goes with communication, which is a nice compliment to USING YOUR NOGGIN. I've assumed, I've played dumb and not assumed. I just lose and am just an ass. I just have ASSME, or MEASS. Whatever.
5. L.I.E.
This is the key to success. Some like to call it "learning to bull shit" others like to call it "conversation starters"... whatever you want to disguise for this 3 letter word... it is what it is. To LIE is to Lead Idiots Endlessly... over the river and through the woods, to a deep dark tunnel that has no light at the end or pot of gold... and to top it all off, lying becomes a way of life... and then before you know it, Boss Man is going to be on that tv show with the lie detector asking about whether or not he wants to cheat on his wife or whatever questions they ask... and because he has tried to master the technique of LIE -- he'll pass a couple rounds with flying colors.
There isn't really any point to this post. The point is, every day I see something different. Every day I am either made to feel like scum, worthless and invaluable because of one reason or another. Sucks to feel that way. Sucks that people's jobs ARE aimed to making you feel like living under a rock may be better...
Underappreciated. Underpaid. Underminded. Under-represented. Understood... by very few.
1. Never read your email, completely or thoroughly.
Why the heck would you send someone an email if they aren't going to read it? Same goes for why leave someone a voicemail, or even send them a memo - heck - why even tell ANYONE ANYTHING if they just don't care. Right. So when you invite me out to happy hour, and I decline, and write a reason as to why in the text before I send it, I kind of expect you to read it. Just kind of. And on top of that, do not hold it against me as to say "I missed out" or how much cooler you were/are than I am just because you went to this shindig and I was too busy working.
2. Coolness/Misfits
If you are too cool, you won't make it. If you are too much of an odd ball, you again, will not make it. You have to middle of the road, cool enough to play with the big guys but yet down to earth enough to hang with the little people to make it. But this is all in how you define success. If you think being successful is to stab one another in the back (or front) and to (pardon my french) talk shit with a smile, then heck yeah - on the way to the top you go! But until you learn how to master these things... you're just stuck, at square one, in the copy room... or in my case, in a box with no door. At least the copy room, has a door...
3. The Outfit
You can't look the part enough. If your toes hang over, don't buy the shoes. If your heel sticks out from behind, don't buy the shoes. High water pants, only cool for HIGH WATER situations. Walking means to pick up your feet, not drag them across the carpet in small tiny steps because your clothes and shoes are too small. Sticking out your chest - ladies, not attractive, especially when approaching the too old ages, and most importantly, if your bad outfit comes with a bad personality/attitude... note to myself, I gotta move cubes, pronto. Other personality traits - please steal everyone's food, ask about the weather EVERYDAY, say "ok" 1,000,000,000,000 over the course of the day, "mmm hmmm" becomes your natural response after every other word, and yes, please, RETIRE SOON.
Anything too trendy, won't get you anywhere. Anything too much like what I described to you above will just leave you stagnent in your position, for 7 years. (seriously.)
4. Assume = Ass + U + Me
Never assume someone is bright enough to make decisions that not only involve logic, but also COMMON SENSE. I will focus my thoughts on common sense as a topic of discussion soon. Assuming goes with communication, which is a nice compliment to USING YOUR NOGGIN. I've assumed, I've played dumb and not assumed. I just lose and am just an ass. I just have ASSME, or MEASS. Whatever.
5. L.I.E.
This is the key to success. Some like to call it "learning to bull shit" others like to call it "conversation starters"... whatever you want to disguise for this 3 letter word... it is what it is. To LIE is to Lead Idiots Endlessly... over the river and through the woods, to a deep dark tunnel that has no light at the end or pot of gold... and to top it all off, lying becomes a way of life... and then before you know it, Boss Man is going to be on that tv show with the lie detector asking about whether or not he wants to cheat on his wife or whatever questions they ask... and because he has tried to master the technique of LIE -- he'll pass a couple rounds with flying colors.
There isn't really any point to this post. The point is, every day I see something different. Every day I am either made to feel like scum, worthless and invaluable because of one reason or another. Sucks to feel that way. Sucks that people's jobs ARE aimed to making you feel like living under a rock may be better...
Underappreciated. Underpaid. Underminded. Under-represented. Understood... by very few.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
K.I.S.S.
Keep. It. Simple. Stupid.
When giving a presentation, keeping to the basics is key for the audience members. This is to ensure everyone, at all levels, can understand the material that is being presented and makes for effective presentations.
However. In the workplace, I thought everyone was at least somewhat educated or experienced enough in their field or subject matter to not have everything literally spelled out to them. Then again, I would like to rephrase that, I thought, people actually read emails and comprehended the fact that if someone took time to tell you something - since phone calls, voicemails and actual written memos seem to me something of the past sometimes, that the email would be the next best thing. Boy, was I mistaken.
So - write short emails, that are extremely detailed and do not miss deadlines. Always ask a ridiculous amount of questions to cover your behind. Never make a judgement call without having at least 50% of the details. And if you must, make sure you enlist support from those around you, just in case you need to pull a CTRL + Z to undo all of your boo-boo's. And eat lots of chocolate. It seems to be the food of choice when stressed.
Now with that said, I noticed something particular recently. When in college, you could become friends with your classmates, date your classmates, and there was no harm in doing so. But in the workplace, you cannot date your co-workers, nor can you even be "real" friends with them because they will ultimately remain "your co-worker/friends"... always. No matter how many movies you see, coffee runs, lunch sessions or even happy hour/dinner plans you make, they will always remain your "co-worker/friend". The idea bloggles my mind. But maybe this is only true in traditional Corporate America settings... as I've experienced otherwise with my friend at his internet firm... they are very lax - to say the least. If Boss Man were to come out for drinks, I think I'd be concerned more than relieved.
Look at how things can change so quickly. Dating in the work place, as I have already visited this topic a few posts before, is something that needs a bit of shadiness and a bit of scamming to work for both parties. And to learn the tricks of the trade, I feel like you just either 1. throw yourself out there and hope for the best, 2. get burned and say to yourself "i'm never doing that again" or 3. have a mentor that will guide you through this jungle like adventure. Because, obviously at a company that has a percentage of how many of its coworkers have married to each other, there must be dating happening on some level.
I have not yet stumbled upon another remarkable discovery as work has consumed me. I just know that creepy/weird men even at work tend to gravitate towards me. Maybe I have a sign on my forehead that says, "all weirdos wanted, please approach". In any case, people feel the need to say weird things - including phrases such as "I am so honored that you..." or upon meeting someone for the first time, ask me out to lunch... or best yet -- invite me to dinners which were assumed were for a large crowd, turn out to be a double date in disguise. G.R.O.S.S. Beggars can't be choosers, I get that. But seriously, THROW ME A BONE.
That's all I have for now. The taste in my mouth is too much to bare and now I must continue working on Easter due to my million of things due next week when half of the office is out for Spring Break. Must be lovely to have a gazillion hours of vacation. Wish I knew what that felt like...
When giving a presentation, keeping to the basics is key for the audience members. This is to ensure everyone, at all levels, can understand the material that is being presented and makes for effective presentations.
However. In the workplace, I thought everyone was at least somewhat educated or experienced enough in their field or subject matter to not have everything literally spelled out to them. Then again, I would like to rephrase that, I thought, people actually read emails and comprehended the fact that if someone took time to tell you something - since phone calls, voicemails and actual written memos seem to me something of the past sometimes, that the email would be the next best thing. Boy, was I mistaken.
So - write short emails, that are extremely detailed and do not miss deadlines. Always ask a ridiculous amount of questions to cover your behind. Never make a judgement call without having at least 50% of the details. And if you must, make sure you enlist support from those around you, just in case you need to pull a CTRL + Z to undo all of your boo-boo's. And eat lots of chocolate. It seems to be the food of choice when stressed.
Now with that said, I noticed something particular recently. When in college, you could become friends with your classmates, date your classmates, and there was no harm in doing so. But in the workplace, you cannot date your co-workers, nor can you even be "real" friends with them because they will ultimately remain "your co-worker/friends"... always. No matter how many movies you see, coffee runs, lunch sessions or even happy hour/dinner plans you make, they will always remain your "co-worker/friend". The idea bloggles my mind. But maybe this is only true in traditional Corporate America settings... as I've experienced otherwise with my friend at his internet firm... they are very lax - to say the least. If Boss Man were to come out for drinks, I think I'd be concerned more than relieved.
Look at how things can change so quickly. Dating in the work place, as I have already visited this topic a few posts before, is something that needs a bit of shadiness and a bit of scamming to work for both parties. And to learn the tricks of the trade, I feel like you just either 1. throw yourself out there and hope for the best, 2. get burned and say to yourself "i'm never doing that again" or 3. have a mentor that will guide you through this jungle like adventure. Because, obviously at a company that has a percentage of how many of its coworkers have married to each other, there must be dating happening on some level.
I have not yet stumbled upon another remarkable discovery as work has consumed me. I just know that creepy/weird men even at work tend to gravitate towards me. Maybe I have a sign on my forehead that says, "all weirdos wanted, please approach". In any case, people feel the need to say weird things - including phrases such as "I am so honored that you..." or upon meeting someone for the first time, ask me out to lunch... or best yet -- invite me to dinners which were assumed were for a large crowd, turn out to be a double date in disguise. G.R.O.S.S. Beggars can't be choosers, I get that. But seriously, THROW ME A BONE.
That's all I have for now. The taste in my mouth is too much to bare and now I must continue working on Easter due to my million of things due next week when half of the office is out for Spring Break. Must be lovely to have a gazillion hours of vacation. Wish I knew what that felt like...
Friday, March 21, 2008
S.H.A.D.Y
A 5 letter word that is notorious in Corporate America.
Exhibit A.
A supervisor presented me with an opportunity to move to a new location for work... doing work I wasn't so excited about, but never the less, doing work. He told Boss Man that I would be a good fit. Okay, let's recap, I didn't take a job where I knew it was going to be located, to travel to work every day. That ISN'T the point in taking a job - knowing the exact longitude and latitude of the office's location. And then presenting me the idea -- but framing it like I really don't have a choice in the end, isn't something I like. EVER.
Exhibit B.
Boss Man telling me one thing about the changes. Other higher folks telling me another. And then the battle begins! We'll see what happens when.
Exhibit C.
TBD
Exhibit A.
A supervisor presented me with an opportunity to move to a new location for work... doing work I wasn't so excited about, but never the less, doing work. He told Boss Man that I would be a good fit. Okay, let's recap, I didn't take a job where I knew it was going to be located, to travel to work every day. That ISN'T the point in taking a job - knowing the exact longitude and latitude of the office's location. And then presenting me the idea -- but framing it like I really don't have a choice in the end, isn't something I like. EVER.
Exhibit B.
Boss Man telling me one thing about the changes. Other higher folks telling me another. And then the battle begins! We'll see what happens when.
Exhibit C.
TBD
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The Sky is Falling!
So all of a sudden, the world fell apart.
Let's recap - this week so far, I realized that you have a good week and a bad week and then a good week again, and apparently JC thinks that way too. What are the odds? I thought people thought I was just crazy when I had these thoughts running through my head. And then there are things that happen that seem too good to be true, and 99% of the time, it is. Again, recapping...
Yesterday was just one of those Mondays that meant something weird was going to happen - like a foresight kind of a day. We all stayed late in the office to finish up somethings and felt like it became a social gathering in my cube at 5pm. Nice, but interesting. JC and I made friends again and I even mentioned the fact that his grumpy pants really does not suit him well. He proceeded to spend the entire time apologizing. It is nothing to apologize for, just something to be aware about for the future. Him being too nice, meant something was up. Either something bad. Or something strange. I think it was anticipated that both would be... up for consideration. JC then wants to go to happy hour, have dinner, hang out. Why the sudden change in heart? Who knows... then logging on at home, he again, messages with something nice. Okay. Seriously. There is something going on.
Moving on to the notion of what happened at work. We all knew a re-org was going to approach us. But now I figured out that I may be moving to a new city??? That would not be something that I would enjoy nor did I sign up for. If I do get that assignment, you can bet your bottom dollar I will look elsewhere to future my career. There are several options... according to here say: I could move to a new group still reporting to Boss Man - still I believe in my same title just with more responsibility and different functions, go to a new group that is being formed as of right now, or go to the new city. Then I hear, other folks may be replaced by the new folks that just got "transfered" in - and to top it all off, JC sends a message at 5:30pm today saying that he doesn't know when he'll be back?!
Okay, lots and lots of changes. Now the question is, why are we always the last to know. This is where again, I bring up the notion of ignorance being bliss. If you simply did not know any better, this would not have any dwelling on your conscience what so ever. But for me, it does. It really really does. What does this mean? Is everything simply going to fall a part?
AND I've come to the conclusion that you shouldn't always rely on other people to do things for you. Especially women. Please at least pretend to be independent. Thanks. BUGS ME. Pet peeve #2098210397120917 along with the guess what secret pet peeve.
Something to add to my list:
- not be shady when I am in a position of authority. it only comes back and bites in you in the ass and it is called, KARMA.
Note to self: sometimes, taking time out to listen to someone else's problem is a good thing, however, sometimes that act of kindness leads to future conversations that could just irritate the heck out of me.
Let's recap - this week so far, I realized that you have a good week and a bad week and then a good week again, and apparently JC thinks that way too. What are the odds? I thought people thought I was just crazy when I had these thoughts running through my head. And then there are things that happen that seem too good to be true, and 99% of the time, it is. Again, recapping...
Yesterday was just one of those Mondays that meant something weird was going to happen - like a foresight kind of a day. We all stayed late in the office to finish up somethings and felt like it became a social gathering in my cube at 5pm. Nice, but interesting. JC and I made friends again and I even mentioned the fact that his grumpy pants really does not suit him well. He proceeded to spend the entire time apologizing. It is nothing to apologize for, just something to be aware about for the future. Him being too nice, meant something was up. Either something bad. Or something strange. I think it was anticipated that both would be... up for consideration. JC then wants to go to happy hour, have dinner, hang out. Why the sudden change in heart? Who knows... then logging on at home, he again, messages with something nice. Okay. Seriously. There is something going on.
Moving on to the notion of what happened at work. We all knew a re-org was going to approach us. But now I figured out that I may be moving to a new city??? That would not be something that I would enjoy nor did I sign up for. If I do get that assignment, you can bet your bottom dollar I will look elsewhere to future my career. There are several options... according to here say: I could move to a new group still reporting to Boss Man - still I believe in my same title just with more responsibility and different functions, go to a new group that is being formed as of right now, or go to the new city. Then I hear, other folks may be replaced by the new folks that just got "transfered" in - and to top it all off, JC sends a message at 5:30pm today saying that he doesn't know when he'll be back?!
Okay, lots and lots of changes. Now the question is, why are we always the last to know. This is where again, I bring up the notion of ignorance being bliss. If you simply did not know any better, this would not have any dwelling on your conscience what so ever. But for me, it does. It really really does. What does this mean? Is everything simply going to fall a part?
AND I've come to the conclusion that you shouldn't always rely on other people to do things for you. Especially women. Please at least pretend to be independent. Thanks. BUGS ME. Pet peeve #2098210397120917 along with the guess what secret pet peeve.
Something to add to my list:
- not be shady when I am in a position of authority. it only comes back and bites in you in the ass and it is called, KARMA.
Note to self: sometimes, taking time out to listen to someone else's problem is a good thing, however, sometimes that act of kindness leads to future conversations that could just irritate the heck out of me.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Sales
Selling yourself short... or selling a product you don't believe in... 2 very unfortunate situations that often times I find myself sandwiched between.
This post will probably be the most random as I haven't written in a while and also am feeling the repercussions of my infection. Health update, surgery is needed and estimated recovery time is 6 weeks.
On to the more interesting stuff!
Selling yourself short. I found myself in this predicament when I had my performance review last week... or maybe it was the week before. It must have been last week. I was told that I surpassed the expectations of Boss Man, did well, but still somehow just ended up on the scale as "average". I got an "average" raise and an "average" pat on the back. When asked how I would be able to achieve more, I simply got a response of "becoming more promotable". Excuse me. So you're saying, I'm doing well, but not well enough because the work you give me isn't something that will help me, I am just given tasks to do to stay alive at this monster of a corporation?! Great. I sensed a bit of ... "she wants to be promotable? she isn't okay just staying where she is?" I guess my go-getting spirit hit a brick wall because I felt extremely ... what's the word I am looking for, used, betrayed, tricked, falsely informed... all of the above. To end my lame review, we walked out of the Boss Man's office and saw JC with his dad... and of course, I should have seen it coming, Boss Man nudges my elbow and says "you know, he likes you". UGH!!!!! I ended that conversation with, "Please, can we just drop the topic? Both of us have been through enough in the last 6 months." I wanted to be tactful, but at that point, I really didn't have a come back that was 1. witty, 2. nice or 3. pleasant because seriously, it's SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
Selling a product you don't believe in. I've had the pleasure to attend 2 career fairs, looking for bright young talent. But how do you sell something you don't believe in? I tried doing that a number of years ago on a previous internship and yes, the product - great product, but I didn't think it was the best product in the whole entire world where everyone should use it - it was just a good product on the market. So how do you sell a corporate monster that you don't really believe in? Maybe it was the sorority in me that had recruitment written on my face. Maybe it was the fact that I was young and pushing for a company that others felt like they could relate to. Maybe it was the notion that you wanted to believe and listen to the young professional who just 10 months ago, was in your shoes, ready to take on the world with everything she had inside of her. Until of course, the world swallowed her whole...
At my alma mater, I must say, was a great time. Not only did I reconnect with students I hadn't seen but at the same time faculty and staff made it feel as though time stopped for the moments I spent with them, recollecting the memories and past that seemed just like yesterday. I even met someone "cool" from the corporation and made a new friend. Small world, though we didn't have a small world moment... yet. But when meeting someone that likes food, good wine, culture and life -- that's a keeper at least for friends. Now, we may not be friends outside of 8-5 M-F, but that's good enough for me and my network... Cheesy, lame and almost sickening, but yes. You never know where you will meet new connections or find ones you simply lost touch with... and in my case, you never know where you will run into someone that could either change your life forever, or be the beginning of what you may think could be the end.
Respecting your elders. I think it is a term that is overrated, only because somethings you can say over and over again - and after the 10 millionth over - it doesn't mean anything anymore. The words simply just become a phrase people don't even think about anymore because it begins to sound like a broken record player, on repeat... forever. In this case, I am referring to respecting those who have been at a Fortune 500 for a long time, playing the game the way that they know how to play the game and figuring out what is the next step in their lives after retirement. Golf is a game that many enjoy, although I am not one for just hitting a ball for the sake of hitting a ball. Then again, I'm not one to enjoy the spa I have now learned, so I guess we'll have to do a little more soul searching to find the game I will play when I reach that point in my life. On to my point, I was told by a wise professor to make a list. A list of things to do when I got into a position of authority... and I think I found a couple things to add to my list as I have experienced it recently:
1. Don't take credit for someone else's work. Promote their abilities and think to yourself, perhaps they have done well because you have guided them to their success.
2. Don't take advantage of AA's. (administrative assistants) Someone's gotta do the work, but really, when you just see them as someone who "photocopies" or "orders office supplies" - we have a problem. Really, how hard is it to photocopy something? Can you take 5 seconds out of your day instead of griping about something meaningless and just stick the piece of paper into the copier?!
3. Be humble. (when I have a greater explanation for this one, I will elaborate...)
It is so sad to see those who are still to be considered young professionals as snotty as they are with the AA's. There is no reason to be and without them, you'd have to do the work anyway - so stop being such a pain and stop being so rude and mean, and just appreciate. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate.
Now the main topic of concern. I have been told in my life that I appear to be unpleasant. I like to have the argument that - it is my face you are calling unpleasant and I am sorry I cannot change what it looks like. However, I do know that there are times where I am presenting more Bitter Betty and Debbie Downer actions rather than Suzie Sorority ones. Human nature, as I like to put it. But what I've realized is that we are all going through this struggle of not understanding how we fit in, what the rules of the game are, and simply - how to survive. As one of the musketeers might advise, learning how to play the game in school took years to perfect. We started at 5 and ended our journey (or paused) at 22. That gave us approximately 17 years to get it right. Now, I admit, there are many people out there who just never figured out the game of school - hence of the fact of them never wanting to return. Others who mastered the game early on - and went to the likes of the top tiered fancy smancy Ivy Leagues or other importantly named ones. And then there was me - learned just in time to secure my place in life, to leave my mark and to remind others that better late than never. (though always show up to meetings early, because if you are on time you are late, and if you are late - you're just up the creek... that was something learned from someone I do truly respect and one of the best bosses I've ever had!) My point is, there have been books written about the Quarter life Crisis. There are shows on television about it. Everyone goes through it (like menopause or the all time famous mid-life crisis) -- but having a chat with someone I never thought I would get along with or have anything in common with really opened my eyes up to the notion of, we are all human, experiencing points in our lives that no one will hand us winning ticket on a silver platter, but sticking together, side by side - and bonding.
Okay, to be totally objective, I understand, not everyone wants to "bond" or wants anyone to even hear about their gripes. But, for my defense, it is always better to engage yourself with other people because those bonds and these situations is what makes us who we are, develops our personalities as adults, and in 40 years have stories that begin with "when I was your age...".
I'm still trying to find motivation... looking for the light at the end of the tunnel... and ultimately searching for the point in our lives at this moment. But, knowing that there are others by my side, whether or not on my team or against me, still experiencing the same issues and crap in corporate America, makes me feel just a little better that I am not alone.
Til next time...
This post will probably be the most random as I haven't written in a while and also am feeling the repercussions of my infection. Health update, surgery is needed and estimated recovery time is 6 weeks.
On to the more interesting stuff!
Selling yourself short. I found myself in this predicament when I had my performance review last week... or maybe it was the week before. It must have been last week. I was told that I surpassed the expectations of Boss Man, did well, but still somehow just ended up on the scale as "average". I got an "average" raise and an "average" pat on the back. When asked how I would be able to achieve more, I simply got a response of "becoming more promotable". Excuse me. So you're saying, I'm doing well, but not well enough because the work you give me isn't something that will help me, I am just given tasks to do to stay alive at this monster of a corporation?! Great. I sensed a bit of ... "she wants to be promotable? she isn't okay just staying where she is?" I guess my go-getting spirit hit a brick wall because I felt extremely ... what's the word I am looking for, used, betrayed, tricked, falsely informed... all of the above. To end my lame review, we walked out of the Boss Man's office and saw JC with his dad... and of course, I should have seen it coming, Boss Man nudges my elbow and says "you know, he likes you". UGH!!!!! I ended that conversation with, "Please, can we just drop the topic? Both of us have been through enough in the last 6 months." I wanted to be tactful, but at that point, I really didn't have a come back that was 1. witty, 2. nice or 3. pleasant because seriously, it's SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
Selling a product you don't believe in. I've had the pleasure to attend 2 career fairs, looking for bright young talent. But how do you sell something you don't believe in? I tried doing that a number of years ago on a previous internship and yes, the product - great product, but I didn't think it was the best product in the whole entire world where everyone should use it - it was just a good product on the market. So how do you sell a corporate monster that you don't really believe in? Maybe it was the sorority in me that had recruitment written on my face. Maybe it was the fact that I was young and pushing for a company that others felt like they could relate to. Maybe it was the notion that you wanted to believe and listen to the young professional who just 10 months ago, was in your shoes, ready to take on the world with everything she had inside of her. Until of course, the world swallowed her whole...
At my alma mater, I must say, was a great time. Not only did I reconnect with students I hadn't seen but at the same time faculty and staff made it feel as though time stopped for the moments I spent with them, recollecting the memories and past that seemed just like yesterday. I even met someone "cool" from the corporation and made a new friend. Small world, though we didn't have a small world moment... yet. But when meeting someone that likes food, good wine, culture and life -- that's a keeper at least for friends. Now, we may not be friends outside of 8-5 M-F, but that's good enough for me and my network... Cheesy, lame and almost sickening, but yes. You never know where you will meet new connections or find ones you simply lost touch with... and in my case, you never know where you will run into someone that could either change your life forever, or be the beginning of what you may think could be the end.
Respecting your elders. I think it is a term that is overrated, only because somethings you can say over and over again - and after the 10 millionth over - it doesn't mean anything anymore. The words simply just become a phrase people don't even think about anymore because it begins to sound like a broken record player, on repeat... forever. In this case, I am referring to respecting those who have been at a Fortune 500 for a long time, playing the game the way that they know how to play the game and figuring out what is the next step in their lives after retirement. Golf is a game that many enjoy, although I am not one for just hitting a ball for the sake of hitting a ball. Then again, I'm not one to enjoy the spa I have now learned, so I guess we'll have to do a little more soul searching to find the game I will play when I reach that point in my life. On to my point, I was told by a wise professor to make a list. A list of things to do when I got into a position of authority... and I think I found a couple things to add to my list as I have experienced it recently:
1. Don't take credit for someone else's work. Promote their abilities and think to yourself, perhaps they have done well because you have guided them to their success.
2. Don't take advantage of AA's. (administrative assistants) Someone's gotta do the work, but really, when you just see them as someone who "photocopies" or "orders office supplies" - we have a problem. Really, how hard is it to photocopy something? Can you take 5 seconds out of your day instead of griping about something meaningless and just stick the piece of paper into the copier?!
3. Be humble. (when I have a greater explanation for this one, I will elaborate...)
It is so sad to see those who are still to be considered young professionals as snotty as they are with the AA's. There is no reason to be and without them, you'd have to do the work anyway - so stop being such a pain and stop being so rude and mean, and just appreciate. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate.
Now the main topic of concern. I have been told in my life that I appear to be unpleasant. I like to have the argument that - it is my face you are calling unpleasant and I am sorry I cannot change what it looks like. However, I do know that there are times where I am presenting more Bitter Betty and Debbie Downer actions rather than Suzie Sorority ones. Human nature, as I like to put it. But what I've realized is that we are all going through this struggle of not understanding how we fit in, what the rules of the game are, and simply - how to survive. As one of the musketeers might advise, learning how to play the game in school took years to perfect. We started at 5 and ended our journey (or paused) at 22. That gave us approximately 17 years to get it right. Now, I admit, there are many people out there who just never figured out the game of school - hence of the fact of them never wanting to return. Others who mastered the game early on - and went to the likes of the top tiered fancy smancy Ivy Leagues or other importantly named ones. And then there was me - learned just in time to secure my place in life, to leave my mark and to remind others that better late than never. (though always show up to meetings early, because if you are on time you are late, and if you are late - you're just up the creek... that was something learned from someone I do truly respect and one of the best bosses I've ever had!) My point is, there have been books written about the Quarter life Crisis. There are shows on television about it. Everyone goes through it (like menopause or the all time famous mid-life crisis) -- but having a chat with someone I never thought I would get along with or have anything in common with really opened my eyes up to the notion of, we are all human, experiencing points in our lives that no one will hand us winning ticket on a silver platter, but sticking together, side by side - and bonding.
Okay, to be totally objective, I understand, not everyone wants to "bond" or wants anyone to even hear about their gripes. But, for my defense, it is always better to engage yourself with other people because those bonds and these situations is what makes us who we are, develops our personalities as adults, and in 40 years have stories that begin with "when I was your age...".
I'm still trying to find motivation... looking for the light at the end of the tunnel... and ultimately searching for the point in our lives at this moment. But, knowing that there are others by my side, whether or not on my team or against me, still experiencing the same issues and crap in corporate America, makes me feel just a little better that I am not alone.
Til next time...
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Short and Sweet
I guess I didn't realize more people were aware of this blog than I had thought... this should make writing even more interesting now :)
Just a sneak peak on what you can expect on the next entry as I am running out the door for a full day of relaxation.
I am writing this more for myself - a reminder.
- Performance Review
- Career Fairs (yes, plural)
- Respecting your elders
- Rules of the game
- Lists for days
I'll be back tomorrow with more details!
Just a sneak peak on what you can expect on the next entry as I am running out the door for a full day of relaxation.
I am writing this more for myself - a reminder.
- Performance Review
- Career Fairs (yes, plural)
- Respecting your elders
- Rules of the game
- Lists for days
I'll be back tomorrow with more details!
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